Esquire Theme by Matthew Buchanan
Social icons by Tim van Damme



After the FACT

It sucks being in LOVE….AFTER THE FACT
It’s almost like you getting dumped ….except
you did it to yourself….knowledge is wealth
and you couldn’t change it …even if you could help

experience means growth and growing means losing 
but is it ever easy? The pain in your heart and the soaking of your tears
with thoughts of you saying ‘you’d never leave me’.

However I pushed you away 
expecting you to stay even though
EVERYDAY I ‘d treat you however which way
due to my hang ups from artificial break ups and
broken promises… I’d lie with you and then lie to you, about
how I don’t need that HIGH again and now……. I’m sober

but your gone and now I’m sober but your HIGH
HIGH off life…. Gone off me because while you were on me
I was on E for you and on FULL for him 
I’m just sitting here wishing I could be fueled AGAIN.






                        Today I decided to start a PETITION against MONA SCOTT-YOUNG and the RATCHET REALITY she conjures up. Unfortunately as soon as I made that decision, I dismissed it. I mean sure I would get signatures; but what worries me most is that the same people that SIGNED the petition wouldn’t really make a conscience decision to forgo watching LOVE AND “HIP-HOP” all together. I realized the HARSH REALITY is that although Mona Scott is serving up RAW RATCHETNESS on a digital platter; It’s us THE PEOPLE, we are the reason why shows like this are still ON TV. It’s all about politics! ratings are the glue keeping this buffoonery together. 

I can’t even lie; I’ve walked past someone watching it and I have too succumb to the ratchetness of it all. What always stops me from religiously tuning in is that once I’m finished watching; I always feel like I’ve been drained of all my time, energy and positivity. At the end of each episode I am almost certain I have been served enough drama to last me weeks. 

I realized that because most of us are so used to negativity we’ve become prone to it. It’s not just a form of entertainment anymore, it’s pure WANT! We want to see someone else’s drama unfold before our eyes, because at least it will give us someone to talk about. This way we won’t feel like we’re really gossiping about anyone because hey! everyone is talking about it and besides this is what they signed up for right? We have to eliminate our need for destruction in our lives. Even if our lives aren’t destructive we feed off of the destruction of others. A sex tape hasn’t drawn this much attention since R.kelly’s. I mean come on I was only 11 years old and I knew about it. Famed blogger Necole Bitchie didn’t even post about it because she’s cutting down on the amount of ratchetness she posts on her blog and I commend her for that.

Now Mimi is being ripped to shreds and everyone will be tuned in for the season premiere, why? because WE JUST HAVE TO KNOW! Mona Scott will rake in the dollars big time and ratings will shoot through the roof. I guess we could start a petition for the MPAA (Motion Picture Association of America) and let them know that a new TV rating is long overdue. But let’s face it whether it’s rated RATCHED or has no ratings at all, MONA SCOTT will continue winning because WE HAVE BEEN FINELY TUNED to feed off or ANY DRAMA THAT ISN’T OUR OWN.

I don’t know when the SEASON PREMIERE of LHHA is but if I did I wouldn’t say. The truth is I won’t be watching! 



Waters Falls and Government Shutdowns!


So 23 huh?  I guess it feels good to be 23, 23 was MJ’s number right? Funny thing about this part of my life is that I’m more fearless than I’ve ever been. Once I reached the age of 20 people always told me the time to live is now, “you’re in your prime” they said. Even that was only 3 years ago, I am just now understanding what it feels like to be in IT. IT being the prime of my youth, I’m opening my life up and facing alot of my fears. I have overcame more this year than any other year I have lived thus far. With each year comes a life changing experience, last year I took my life further but kept ME back. The person I was, wasn’t changing; my life was changing but within I was still the same ol’ me. This year 2013 I pushed myself and broke down the bearers I built. For my birthday I was so blessed to be taken to Niagara Falls, CA and got a chance to experience and see one of the 9th wonders of the world, the intensity of the falls mixed with my own amazement and sheer joy gave me an experience that money could not buy… It was almost like I wanted to take as much of it as I possibly could with me. The beauty of Nature deserves much more credit than we give it. People are always saying “Thank God, I’m alive” and not that I wasn’t thankful to be alive but I was more happy to see, breathe, hear, feel and LOVE. To know me is to know that I am sometimes full of selfishness and this birthday I asked for things, yes! But when MY DAY actually blossomed I wanted NOTHING more than what I have, I am accepting that things happen and it’s a natural part of life. Prayer has gotten me through tough times and jesus has blessed me with humility so even when my days get too bright and pockets get too heavy my head doesn’t get too big. Again…. It’s so many things I’ve realized in this year, last year mentally I swore I was ready to be someone’s wife but today in this day, I realize I’m NOT ready and it has nothing to do with my LIFE but with my self, THE WOMAN I AM WITHIN ….TODAY…. is growing into the woman I want a man to take unto FOREVER, Being a GOOD woman is more than just how well you cook,clean and f*ck it’s more about how selfless you can be, how hard you can love and your ability to MAKE IT THROUGH and be a SUPPORT SYSTEM! I recently watched a documentary called ‘Queen of versailles’ on Netflix and the interviewer asked Siegal if his wife was a support system and he said “no to him she was like another child”, that stuck with me and it helped me realize I had to outgrow a lot of childish things. I speak about LOVE and becoming a wife because the GOD I KNOW told me to ask and I SHALL RECEIVE, I asked and I KNOW that without a good HUSBAND by my side I WONT ACHIEVE massive success and WITHOUT massive SUCCESS I wont obtain a great HUSBAND. Just like anybody else I want it all, but it won’t mean anything to me if I can’t come home and COOK ALL IN ‘HIS’ KITCHEN. My birthdays are NOT about TURNING UP but about self EVALUATION,  I always take major time out to REFLECT for my birthday and in the end I have these revelations, this year was all about ONE THING and that was to ALWAYS and only do what I love…..I smiled every second of MY DAY because all in all I was happy to just be here. To have come this far. I’ve accomplished things I didn’t expect myself to be able to, I took one step further. I held my FIRST RALLY AUG. 21st for my community organization SAY PEACE 2 GUN VIOLENCE and that alone meant so much to me, It’s something I will continue to do and speak out about. Overall, I have so many things I can’t wait to share with you guys in 2014! While I was in my birthday bubble some FAMILY around me were truly affected by the GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN! Let me just say a few things. My time in CANADA has showed me just how SCREWED UP our U.S. gov’t is. I find it so messed up the way GOVERNMENT COULD SHUT DOWN on us but we could never TURN OUR BACKS ON THEM. When an american citizen goes AGAINST the government, they get IGNORED, BLACKLISTED, thrown in jail or pretty much go missing. Our Government spends alot of time MINDING OTHER COUNTRIES business but they never take the time out to TREAT US the way SOME other COUNTRIES treat their citizens. We have the highest student loan rates in the world, it’s quite obvious our government doesn’t give a damn if we have health care! and whether we like it or not, ONCE THE GOVERNMENT turns their back on us we just have to sit and wait for them to finish their childish tantrum. SMH

All in all I would LOVE to thank YOU ALL for the BDAY love, it is GREATLY appreciated! I have had the best Birthday ever! I am surrounded by the greatest LOVE of all and I only pray for a BETTER YEAR, NEXT YEAR…Because it’s Mine ;-)




(Bella Me Foundation ‘Smart, Fresh n Fab’ giveback event SEPT. 13’)

I also would love to CONGRATULATE Ms. LETITIA JAMES on her PUBLIC ADVOCATE WIN! She deserved this, Not only am I proud but I cannot wait to stand with her in this FIGHT! A win does not mean IT’S OVER but that now YOU ARE MORE EQUIPPED!

Thanks for reading this!

Say Peace 2 Gun Violence Facebook:
To have SAY PEACE 2 GUN VIOLENCE sponsor, SPEAK or donate at/for YOUR NEXT EVENT Please email us at:

 To find out more about PUBLIC ADVOCATE Tish James click here:



miss-autumneyes said: Just want to say your mac and cheese looks yummy and your curry chicken! :D

Thank you! :)



Cookin’ All in Yo Kitchen!!!

What she order?:

Fried Catfish, Black eye peas, 6 cheese Baked Mac n Cheese, Steam Spinach w. Garlic Oil & Candy yams

Candy Yams: 
The photo above is BEFORE it’s placed in the oven. 

What you’ll need:

Brown sugar (light or dark whichever tickles your fancy)
Vanilla Extract (NOT imitation because it has a funny taste)
Butter or Margarine (2-3 Tbsp)
Ground Cinnamon
Ground Nutmeg

6 Cheese Baked Mac: The Photo above is before it’s placed in the oven.

What you’ll need:

1 Box of Elbow noodles
Half of Stick of butter
2-3 Cups of Milk
1 pack of Mozzarella cheese (Shredded)
1 Pack of Extra sharp cheddar cheese (Shredded)
1 Pack of Sharp cheddar cheese (Cut into Sq cubes)
1 Pack of mild white cheddar cheese (Cut into sq cubes)
1 Pack of Muenster cheese (Shredded)
1 Pack of Velveeta cheese
Fresh Ground pepper
Garlic Powder

Tip: For best consistency when serving let it cool for about 10-15 minutes before cutting and serving.

Fried Catfish: The photo above is after the Catfish was set to brine in Vinegar and fresh lemon juice for 24hrs, Then marinated in seasonings for 42 hrs, On the actual day of cooking I added some Fish fry to the fish soaking 8 hrs before frying so it could create a batter.

What you’ll need:

Fish Fry (Your choice)
Cajun Seasoning
Fresh Lemon (1 Cut in half)
Half cup of Vinegar
Fresh Black pepper
Garlic powder
Onion Powder
Hot sauce (Add during Brine and/or Marinating process)

Steamed Spinach: There is no above photo, But I steamed spinach with garlic and olive oil.

What you’ll need: 

Spinach (I used bagged spinach out of the produce section)
1-2 pcs of raw garlic (Chop into tiny pieces)
Evoo (Extra Virgin Olive Oil)
Fresh Black pepper 

Pour Evoo into a frying pan w. the heat on extremely low, Right after toss in the chopped garlic and let it sit for about 8 mins this will give the garlic a chance to become infused into the oil. After 8 minutes turn off the fire and let the oil cool, After it has cooled off pour it onto your rinsed greens then season w. blk pepper and then proceed to steam.

Black eyed Peas: Well I used FRESH beans so I soaked them for 2 1/2 days in a bowl of cold water.

What You’ll need:

1 Bag of black eye peas
1 Pk of smoked turkey neck
1 Half of an onion
Fresh black pepper
Garlic powder
Onion Powder

I boiled the smoked turkey neck seasoned with fresh black pepper, Garlic powder, Onion powder and paprika for about 30 MINUTES on a low fire. I then added the beans & onions to the pot which still had water inside and cooked them for 2 1/2 hours, Adding more seasoning(No paprika) throughout the cooking process.



'Cookin all in yo Kitchen'

Tired of Bbq chicken? Try another tasty and sweet alternative!

Honey Mustard chicken

Which I pan seared, baked then broiled.

After FIRST soaking it in a vinegar and hot sauce brine and marinating it in seasonings (Fresh black pepper, garlic powder, onion powder, adobo and paprika)

As a pair I decided on a avocado & spinach salad dressed with Garlic-Mustard vinaigrette garnished w. sliced mango.  

I roasted a garlic clove in the oven wrapped in foil, I also chopped pieces of  garlic in the end low-frying them in a pan of EVOO.

Then I poured the garlic and EVOO in a bowl which I then mixed in spicy brown mustard (in replace of dijon mustard) I also squeezed in some fresh lemon for acidity! With added pepper for taste.

Another day! Another Bite!
Cookin all in yo kitchen!



I can see why you cant help it


So today someone very close to me took back a man that was no good for her, No good for her mind, No good for her body and no good for her spirit. He cheats blatantly and disrespectfully, Degrading and downgrading her to other women. They have a child together so as usual there is a strong love there. The man has been no good before the child, SHE has finally gained the courage to kick him out, But again he’s back. While we spoke I  asked why is he there she replied “You asking me?” I wondered why she put the blame on him. I wanted to scream at her and tell her’ why was she being so foolish? For what? I thought you said you were working on getting over him?’ For a second my ignorance took over, I just huffed and puffed my mouth closed.

After we hung up the phone I said a silent prayer for her, Who was I to judge? How many times have I taken my HIM back. How many times have I tried to make it seem like HE WAS THE REASON he was back and I PLAYED NO PART?

But I did! I took him in, I allowed him to speak, I allowed my mind and ears to open up to his words or should I say lies? I listened to music that reminded me of him just to feel close to him again.  But who was I fooling? I hurt with him and even without him!

I can see why you can’t help it! But what hurts more? The loneliness or Lies? The longing for his embrace  or the shame from his Embarrassment? The Heart with the unhealed wounds because they’re being busted and healed way too quickly to recover? Or the broken heart that over time gets a little stronger?

I need to be a better woman, So I know judging another women for her setbacks won’t help me in life! Prayer will work for now…

I can see why you cant help! Because hell picking up the phone and NOT calling is much harder than enjoying a date with someone else.

I can see why you can’t help it, But I just PRAY THAT ONE DAY YOU DO! Help YOU!

Rome wasn’t built in a day SO AFTER YOU PRAY…..

Wait on the lord, be of good courage and he shall strengthen your Heart’ Psalm 27:14 



Felt like I was getting sick…

With all this nasty weather from Hurricanes to Snowstorms my body was not having it! My throat started to feel funny and I don’t know about you but that’s how it all starts for me. 

About THREE YEARS AGO! I stopped taking over the counter medicines for certain illnesses. One day I went in the kitchen and it was almost like I had an epiphany, I watch food network very often and my health was something that is very important to me. I was coming down with a cold and I didn’t want to take any cold medicines because for some reason they always made me way more drowsy and sickly than I already was. Then I thought…..WWGD? 

What Would Grandma Do? … My great grandmother is basian(BARBADOS) and when she was alive she would always tell my mom different ways to cure our illnesses. I rarely went to the emergency room for any sickness.

But anywhoo, I found some raw garlic, lemon juice, cayenne pepper powder and raw ginger. I decided to boil them all together with honey. Everybody in my house thought I was going crazy, I mean I knew it didn’t smell or sound too tasty but one thing I knew from drinking BUCKLEY’S was that all the stuff that TASTE THE WORSE, WORK THE BEST.

Over the years I’ve come up with more ‘concoctions' than this and I have also altered this one.

I now add:

RAW THYME (Benefits) : -  Vitamin C helps body develop resistance against infectious agents
Vitamin A is a fat soluble vitamin and antioxidant that is required maintaining healthy mucus membranes and skin and is also essential for vision

The herb is also a rich source of many important vitamins such as B-complex vitamins, beta carotene, vitamin K, vitamin E and folic acid
Thyme contains many active principles that are found to have disease preventing and health promoting properties.

Raw honey has anti-viral, anti-bacterial, and anti-fungal properties. It promotes body and digestive health, is a powerful antioxidant, strengthens the immune system, eliminates allergies, and is an excellent remedy for skin wounds and all types of infections. Raw honey’s benefits don’t stop there. Raw honey can also stabilize blood pressure, balance sugar levels, relieve pain, calm nerves, and it has been used to treat ulcers

Learn more:

These added ingredients has definitely helped me feel even more amazing the next day!

I still use all the same ingredients as when I FIRST STARTED but now I make sure nothing is concentrated or processed and EVERYTHING IS RAW and FRESH!!

Below I have placed the benefits of every other INGREDIENT! I eat the raw aloe before I drink the tea, Which is usually before bed!

ayenne pepper contains an active ingredient, called capsaicin, which has analgesic properties and various other uses medicinally. As a healing agent,

RAW GARLIC (BENEFITS): The primary infection-fighting compound in garlic is called allicin. This anti-bacterial and anti-viral substance is found in raw garlic and in smaller dosese in other vegetables. Garlic also contains antioxidants that help remove environmental toxins and waste products of normal body processes in the blood. Environmental toxins include cigarette smoke, radiation, UV light and air pollution

Ginger has been shown to possess antibacterial properties, which may help to treat bacterial infections as well as the common cold and digestive system ailments. It is believed that ginger works to improve circulation. This helps to more quickly remove toxins from the body.

A lemon is full of nutrients, including vitamin C, beta carotene, vitamin A, folate, calcium, magnesium, phosphorus and potassium. The peel or rind of a lemon contains essential oils and many of the nutrients present in the flesh.

RAW ALOE (BENEFITS) it is known as a medicinal plant that provides energy and strength, and helps support the immune system, digestion, and skin regeneration.

Now you can try it if you like! I strongly suggest YOU DO!!

Stay well this WINTER!!!




A Quick Guide to Whether a Woman Owes You Something

I want to know if a woman owes me something.
Well, did you enter into a loan contract with a woman, providing her with goods or money that has not yet been returned?
Hmm. Well, do you have some other contractual agreement to provide goods or services in exchange for a compensation that has not yet been made?
It doesn't sound like a woman owes you something.
What if I sent her a private message on this web forum we both post at.
Ah. She doesn't owe you shit.
Well, what if I sent her a message on a dating site. That's just be rude to ignore.
She doesn't owe you shit.
Isn't it just common courtesy to write a detailed explanation of why she won't respond favorably to me after I've messaged her five times?
She doesn't owe you shit.
What if we go on a date and I buy her dinner...
Doesn't owe you shit.
Or if we've been dating a few months, and...
Doesn't owe you shit.
Well, how about we're married and I'm in the mood...
She. Doesn't. Owe. You. Shit.
Shouldn't I at least be entitled to some sort of...
Don't owe you shit.
Well, I don't think that's very decent.
She still won't owe you shit.




Levi - Is a gorilla! A very Uncooperative one at that.

My Babies (Nephew - Power Ranger, Niece - Bat Girl, Nephew- Luigi)

ME - Ahhemm I really didn’t buy a costume I just put on some tights I’ve been dying to wear forever and a dress. Then I snatched up my niece’s BATGIRL MASK because she didn’t wanna wear it any longer. This whole outfit lacked sense and coordination OBVIOUSLY! It was like a mix between Bat girl and Foxy Cleopatra  But! The bright side is that it got me A LOT OF CANDY! Hmm among other things….

I tried to put an actual full body picture of me in the middle but the collage seems to have only caught my lips!!! Well there’s ya TREAT FOLKS!!!

Be safe! & HAVE FUN! FOR THE ADULTS this is certainly THE PERFECT NIGHT FOR ROLE PLAYING with your boo!!!

The month is OVER it’s time for renewal, I’m fully equipped and READY!  



Cookin’ All in Yo Kitchen!!  My fake 30 minute meal!

Honey Mustard baked chicken breast, Mashed Potatoes & Corn 

For years I have been watching Rachel Ray’s 30 Minute meals on ‘Food Network' and I still can't seem to make a 30 Minute meal to save my life sometimes.

Today I decided due to Hurricane Sandy I’ll do so, It still wasn’t exactly 30 minutes either I was about 15 minutes over-time.

Honey Mustard chicken breast — Just a regular pack of boneless/skinless chicken breast, Soaked in vinegar, Precooked then seasoned with a variety of spices & chicken bouillon. Twenty minutes after I put it in the PREHEATED oven to bake I added the Honey mustard sauce which is shown in the photos.

Mash Potatoes — I used Hormel/Country Crock 100% Mashed potatoes which I honestly LOVE! v. Boxed/Powdered Mash potatoes. I would normally just make it all from scratch which is my preference, But if you want quick mashed potatoes without getting any backlash from anyone stick to these!! Using BOXED/POWDERED Mash potatoes is truly disgraceful not to mention disgusting! You can cook these in the microwave but I wasn’t about to do so, I do not like the microwave so I cooked it in a saucepan.

 Nothing special about the corn, It was cooked in a pot, Seasoned and buttered that’s all!


“Without proper foundations, there can be no fashion.”
~ Christian Dior


“Without proper foundations, there can be no fashion.”

~ Christian Dior



Tear it & Wear it Contest!

Tear it & Wear it Contest!




Glade scented oil candle! (Autumn Harvest scent)

My thoughts: I don’t like this, I love candles and this did absolutely nothing for me. I think it’s great for decor not so much for someone who loves the benefits of lighting and smelling a candle. Once the wax melted I smelled the scent but it did not fill up the room as guaranteed and the room was small. 



AirWick Acadia Scented candle! (Sweet Vanilla & Pumpkin scent)

My thoughts: I love this candle, It smells delicious. It helped clear the smell of food out the house after I cooked and didn’t take long to scent the room. I kept the candle lit for 3 1/2 days straight. This was definitely one of my favorite FALL SCENTS.